When I was coming down the home stretch on ASHLEY AND KISHA it suddenly occurred to me that maybe we weren’t all that well positioned to reach the film’s natural audience. I was lucky to be able to call on my friends Shine Louise Houston and Jessica Holter and say, “Halp! I’m a straight white dude. How do I introduce this film to lesbians, especially women of color, without coming off like a jerk? And never mind the jerk part, where do I even start looking?”
I thought that experience left me well prepared for releasing BILL AND DESIREE, but in fact, the process of finding the film’s natural audience has been much more difficult that with ASHLEY AND KISHA.
The difficulty that we’ve had in finding communities devoted to older adult sexuality is echoed over on SexGenderBody.com in Arvan’s post Who am I, if I’m not me anymore?
I tried many more search terms, with largely the same result: a lot more research papers, books and committees, but not many bloggers or social sites to speak up and speak out. So, maybe today’s seniors are on the other side of the digital divide. Maybe they would be glad to speak up, but nobody younger than them want to hear about aging or dying.
That’s why I’m so glad we found our way to Joan Price, a writer and advocate for sex, health and fitness, and author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty. We sent her a copy of BILL AND DESIREE, and here’s what Joan had to say about the film on her blog:
Bill and Desiree: Love is Timeless is a remarkably tender and realistic erotic documentary about senior sex from Comstock Films. Bill and Desiree are in love, and as erotic as their lovemaking are the heart-to-heart gazes they give each other, the intertwined fingers, the way Bill’s hand lightly grazes Desiree’s breast as they talk to the camera, the gentle corrections they make to each other’s stories.
She looks in her 50s, he in his 60s, and their love is fresh and tender after 3-1/2 years together. They are buoyantly, joyously, agelessly sexual together, laughing as they make love, reveling in their connection. Much of the documentary is interview — we hear how they met, where they first made love, why they love each other, and how important sex is to both of them. The commentary is interspersed with flashes of their sexual activity.
Then, done talking, they make love… for a long time. The lovemaking is clearly genuine, no “money shots” for the camera or fake screams or bouncing boobs. Instead, we see Bill give Desiree several orgasms with fingers, mouth, and toys before getting to the main course. Although we see every body part close up, we tend to focus on the love and joy in their faces (or at least I did) more than their delightfully frisky genitals.
I liked how unlike traditional porn this film is. This is an aging couple — sexy, playful, and in love. They have body hair. They use lubricant. They make eye contact. He is dashing with his salt-and-pepper hair and fit body, and the softness of his caresses matters much more than the age spots on his hands. (She looks great, too, but I confess I spent most of my time watching him.)
Of course I’m thrilled with Joan’s reaction, but I’m also a little wistful. I know how much time and effort it took for us to find Joan, Peggy and I have a more than 25 years of internet experience between the two of us, and even so we only came to Joan’s site through word of mouth. Arvan is no internet neophyte either, and he is similarly stymied. How many other people are out there, looking, but not finding there way to Joan, or us? How many of the know that Goggle demands longer search strings to return sites like Comstock Films? How many of them even know they can change their search settings on Google? How many of them get intimidated by pop-up warnings about “offensive content” that Google pops up on blogs that deal with sexuality? And how do we overcome these and other obstacles to reach people who might really enjoy seeing our film?
Which reminds me, we sent a copy of BILL AND DESIREE to a film reviewer at AARP. I’m past due on sending him a follow up note!
